The Legend of Zero: The Quest for Soup
by ThisSilenceIsMine
Summary: After getting lost in the Land of Mountains, Zero and Mikhail find themselves in Hyrule. Fairly short, considering doing more stories in this vein if this one is well received.


Laying around under a warm sun was always such a peaceful way to pass the hours. To watch the clouds roll by and let one's worries roll away with them, it was a favoured pass time of a certain pale skinned woman when she found herself with time to spare. Wait, warm? Zero suddenly sat up, looking around from atop her dragon's back. Rolling sand dunes as far as she could see, which meant they weren't on their intended route.

"Hey dummy! We're supposed to go to the Land of Mountains, not the Land of Sands." Zero yelled to her dragon, the large beast whimpering as he turned to look at his master.

"I'm sorry Zero! I.. I got lost! The clouds were so thick I couldn't see anything!" Mikhail called back. Zero sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose before turning around and mounting the dragon proper.

"Last time I let you drive." she grumbled half to herself, grabbing one of the dragon's horns and forcing his gaze forward. "As long as we're lost we may as well get something out of it. Head towards that town, maybe we can get a hot meal for once."

A smile crept along Mikhail's features, "Oh you mean it Zero? Can we get steak? I love steak. Steak steak steak." The dragon sung the words, content with the idea before Zero bashed his head with her metallic fist.

"Shut up. You're lucky I don't make you starve tonight for getting us lost. Four gets to live another day because of you." Zero said while Mikhail tightened up and sped along the desert and across a large, open field. The pair landed in front of the steps leading towards a small village, Zero hopping off of the dragon and looking up at him. "Listen. You stay here and try not to get into trouble, alright? If these guys are run by Two I don't need you getting in my way."

Zero hesitantly started up the steps, hand on her sword's hilt before coming to the gates of the town. Two guards stood watch, the one on the right holding up his hand to stop the woman.

"Halt! State your name and purpose in Kakariko!" He called towards her. Zero stopped where she was, looking over the two before shifting her weight to her right leg.

"My name is Zero, and I'm trying to figure out where the hell I am." she replied in a calm manner. The two guards looked at each other before nodding and relaxing a little, although the grip on their spears remained firm.

"You're standing in front of Kakariko Village, in the land of Hyrule. From where do you hail, traveller?" He asked, leaning back against the wooden gate while he waited.

"Hyrule huh? Never heard of it. Where I come from doesn't matter, I just need some supplies. I've got a job to do and an empty stomach, so I'm pretty irritable right now."

"If you go from here, past the tree and to the first house on your left you can purchase food from there."

"Thanks." she muttered before pushing forward past the guards. The town was fairly small, Zero eventually pushing open the door and stepping inside. The shop was more a home that the owner had turned into a business for the refugees of the Hyrule Castle Town. The jovial man smiled at Zero, hands set on the table in front of him. He was a heavy set man, wearing a dark blue tunic and a set of black pants with a long beard reaching down to his fattened stomach. A pair of light brown eyes sparkled at the prospect of making more profit.

"Hey! Welcome! What do'ya want huh? Soup? Slop? Take your pick!" He said in his best impersonation of a salesman as he could manage. Zero slowly walked to the table, setting the gauntlet-like arm that was her left onto it and letting the pointed tips drum along it.

"Back where I come from, shops like this were generally.. Shops.. What's the deal?" she asked, head tilting to one side to let the white locks of hair spill aside and reveal more of the flower growing from her eye. The man flicked his gaze between her eye and the flower, and then to the gauntlet. His expression went from jovial to concerned in an instant.

"You're not from around here are you? Ganondorf has taken over Hyrule Castle and ran us all out. The town is nothing but ruins." He replied grimly. "So we're just waiting for the Hero of Time to come and make everything right."

"Hero of Time? You've got to be kidding me... Fine, whatever, just give me some soup." she said coldly. The man looked at her confused for a moment.

"You don't have a bottle though." He replied, locking his fingers together and twiddling his thumbs. "If you don't have anything to carry it in I can't sell you the soup." Zero blinked a few times, her eye narrowing slowly.

"Are you kidding me? You can't just sell me a bottle or something?" She grumbled in response. The man stroked his fingers through his beard a bit, humming softly to himself.

"I could for another twenty rupees.." He stated. Zero quickly dug into her pouch, gripping up a handful of golden coins and tossing them onto the table.

"Here, keep the change, just give me some fucking food already." Zero snapped. The man looked down at the table and plucked up one of the coins with his thick fingers. His eyes squinted, examining the currency his newest customer had laid out before him.

"Uh.. What are these exactly? These aren't rupees. I can't accept these." Zero's once pale face was red with anger, her hand reaching around to grab the hilt of her blade and pull it free. Except the sword didn't budge from its place on her hip. She looked down at it, tugging on it again and again in vain.

"I swear to fuck if my sword wasn't stuck I'd kill you right now. What do you mean you can't accept these?! They're perfectly good coins. Don't you know better than to fuck with a woman when she's hungry?" she yelled back at him. The man shrugged, pushing the coins back across towards Zero and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small green gem, holding it up for her to see.

"These are rupees. Bring me thirty of these and I'll give you all the soup you can eat." He said calmly. Zero stormed out of the house, angrily walking back towards the gate. She stopped once she stepped outside of it, turning towards one of the guards.

"Hey, you. Where the hell do I get rupees?"

"Uhh.." The guard looked between the woman clad in white and the other guard before turning back to Zero. "Could always try cutting the grass and seeing if anyone dropped some." He replied. Zero just stared at him for a moment before clenching her jaw and starting down the steps.

"Uhh... Zero?" Mikhail asked over an hour after Zero had left the town. She had been slashing and hacking at patches of tall grass for a majority of the time, muttering to herself with little to show except for some grass stains.

"What is it?"

"Why are you cutting grass? I mean... It doesn't seem like you're having much fun, and I thought we were going to get food..." he replied timidly.

"Look you big dumb dragon, we can't get any fucking food because these stupid hicks only take these dumb ass gems instead of real money." she snapped out, glaring at the dragon. Mikhail winced, looking between Zero, the town's entrance, and then to the large castle. Suddenly his eyes lit up, lips parting in as good a smile as the dragon could manage.

"Oh! Oh! Zero I've got it! Why don't we just go to the castle and ask for some money or food? Kings and Queens are always really nice right? I mean.. They always have so much, so why can't they spare a little for us? Plus we could work for them instead of cutting grass!" Zero stared hard at him before looking towards the castle. The drawbridge was ruined, a dark tint hanging over the once proud castle. She lifted her hand, pointing towards the tall, ominous tower in the distance.

"You mean that castle, dummy? No way.. The king isn't even there either. Some doofus named Ganondorf took it over and... And..." Her lips curled into a small smile, her hand moving to stroke along her chin. "You know what? That's not a bad idea... We can kick this Ganondorf guy's ass and get a fancy reward for it. For once you had a good idea. I'm impressed." she said, walking over towards the dragon to climb onto his back. Zero kicked the sides of his body, Mikhail giving a powerful flap of his wings and taking to the skies.

It wasn't long until they were circling the darkened tower that Ganondorf had erected to serve as his stronghold while putting together his fiendish plot. While the tower floated above a churning lake of lava, Zero skipped a lot of leg work by just landing herself on the base of the tower. She peered over the ominous entrance, eventually hopping off of her dragon and patting his side.

"Looks like this is too small for you... Stay close, I may need you." she said, the dragon nodding before taking to the skies and letting Zero leisurely walk into the tower.

She wasn't in much of a hurry, at least not immediately. The red carpet was a nice touch, playing out some little fantasy in her head as she trailed her fingers along the stone rails of the staircase the carpet led her up. She could get used to it, but as she came before a large door she remembered what she was doing. The door pulled upwards as she walked towards it, opening to a large chamber and various colored beams melding together to form a shimmering rainbow barrier.

"Great.. Just what I needed. More obligatory padding.." Zero muttered to herself before drawing out her sword. She gripped it by the blade with her metallic hand, holding it like a javelin before throwing it straight at the middle of the barrier. The blade stuck, the humming noise of the room growing louder and louder before the barrier shattered and her sword clattered to the stone floor.

"Huh.. Didn't think that'd actually work." she said before jogging towards the entrance and grabbing up her blade. With it in hand she started up the spiralling staircase. Organ music hummed through the staircase, growing louder and louder with each step until Zero stood before the archway that it was coming from. Once again the door pulled upwards and Zero stepped inside. A man clad in darkened armor stood before the massive organ, fingers stopping their movements before he spoke in a deep tone.

"You're early, Hero of Time... Impressive that you've come so far in such a short time. But with two pieces of the triforce, you stand no chance." He said, grabbing his cape and throwing it up in front of him as he turned to face the would be hero. His cocky smirk and burning eyes slowly faded as he looked at Zero. Zero was idly scratching her head, the single red eye staring at the tall, dark skinned man.

"Sorry, were you not expecting me?" she asked in a sultry, sarcastic tone. Ganondorf glared daggers at her, shifting his gaze from Zero to the princess trapped in a large crystal before moving back to Zero.

"Who are you? Hmph... It matters not. I'll merely take care of you while I wait for that fairy boy." he said, flinging his cape back once again as the room turned into an area around them and Ganondorf floated up into the air. Zero looked around, grip on her blade tightening.

"The fuck is this? You're just going to fly around? I thought a big strong man like yourself would be more entertaining than that." she called to Ganondorf, the man cackling menacingly at her.

"Ha.. A child with a large mouth. It will be even more satisfying to defeat you." he said as he raised his hand up towards the ceiling. Lightning crackled around his open palm, a ball of energy forming before he threw it at Zero. Zero dashed forward, ducking under the crackling orb and jumping up after him. Ganondorf blinked, a growl echoing from his lips as he reeled back his hand. Zero gripped her blade in both hands, poised to deliver a blow to the man only to have her momentum completely halted by Ganondorf's fist meeting her face. He sent her flying across the arena, her blade clattering away from her while Ganondorf's fist crackled with energy again.

"Hmph.. And here I expected more from you." He said, letting out a bellowing roar as he slammed his fist into the ground, the outer most ring falling and leaving Zero getting to her feet and her blade in the rubble below. She wiped the back of her hand against her mouth, seeing blood stain her pale flesh. She watched as Ganondorf descended to the ground, chuckling as she put up her fists in a fighting stance. Ganondorf cracked his knuckles, undoing his cape and tossing it off the platform as well. "Fine then... Let's fight." he growled out.

Zero took the initiative again, dashing forward and swinging haymakers left and right. Ganondorf swayed out of the blows, laughing at Zero's poor attempts at fist fighting. With the third blow meeting nothing but air Ganondorf hooked his left down and delivered a powerful punch to Zero's gut. The force staggered the woman, in that moment of weakness he swung an uppercut that caught Zero and lifted her feet off the ground. She cried out, helpless to do anything but brace for the third part of his combo which was a straight, powerful blow that sent the woman slamming against the wall of the arena. She coughed, more of her blood staining the floor as she struggled to get a full breath of air.

"Pathetic." Ganondorf taunted, slowly walking towards her like a wolf eyeing its weakened prey.

"Mikhail! Help me!" she yelled as her lungs finally got enough air to speak. Within seconds her dragon crashed through the wall of the arena, dive bombing into the man and sending him sliding across the floor.

"Leave Zero alone!" Mikhail yelled, fangs bared and small puffs of fire coming with each breath. Zero breathed a sigh of relief, shakily getting to her feet with her breaths coming in wheezing, ragged gasps.

"Kill him." she said coldly, the dragon acting as soon as she spoke and exhaling a wall of fire. Ganondorf yelled in pain, his hands raised to try to shield him from the blast. The heated attack eventually faded, Ganondorf's charred body slumping to the floor in a smoking pile.

Just as everything went silent, the sound of shattering glass grabbed Zero's attention. She looked towards the edge of the arena, the imprisoned princess now standing before her. She wore a concerned expression, staring at the lifeless heap that had once been her captor. Just as her lips parted to speak the tower suddenly shifted under their feet. It was as if an earthquake was shaking the tower and without a word Zero hopped onto her dragon's back and helped the princess on as well. The trio quickly took to the skies, circling the tower as Zero watched it collapse. A sadistic grin crossed her lips.

"Yeah.. Rot in hell you piece of shit." she muttered, turning to the princess. "So.. I saved you, killed that bastard, you got a reward for me right?"

"Yes.. I am Princess Zelda, and as Princess I will offer you whatever it is you desire, Zero." she replied. As the tower finally crumbled to its last pieces Zero motioned for Mikhail to swoop down and land in the rubble. After all, her sword was still down there. Zero hopped off the dragon's back, the creature helping to move some of the rubble around as they searched. Zelda had joined them, mostly looking around the scene uneasy, as if expecting the worst.

Like clockwork, something stirred under the rubble. Zero drew her gaze from the stones she was picking through to see a blackened figure climbing from the rubble, hand clenched as a symbol burned on his fist.

"This is not over. I will not be defeated by the likes of you!" Ganondorf cried out, his whole body gathering energy before it exploded outwards. What stood before them now was a hulking monstrosity, two massive blades materializing in its hands as a ring of fire suddenly surrounded the two. Zelda and Mikhail were locked outside, the dragon taking to the skies but unable to outrun the climbing fire.

"Zero! I can't get through! You've gotta do something!" Mikhail yelled to his master. Zero stood looking up at the beast known as Ganon as it slowly trudged towards her. Ganon raised up one of the massive swords, bringing it down in an earth shattering blow. Zero dived out of the way, panting heavily as she was already at her limits.

"Fuck.. I.. Don't know if I've got this, Mikhail." she stammered out between ragged breaths. "Heh.. All this for some fucking soup... Fate really is a bitch."

Again and again Ganon swung his blades, carving away bits of the earth and stone with each cleaving strike. Zero tried desperately to avoid them, finding her strength leaving her as she watch as another blow approached her from the sky. She lifted her left hand, palm open and waiting to stop what was sure to be a death blow.

The blade met the metallic arm, Zero grunting in pain as the blow nearly broke her. Her fingers dug into the blade, trying to get a grip on it while the beast laughed at her. Ganon let her hold the blade, fueling her hope just a little more before crushing it like he would her very bones.

A small blue light caught Zero's eye, the woman slowly looking towards the fire to see another figure had joined Zelda and Mikhail at the edge of the ring of fire. A gentle voice eventually spoke.

"This doesn't look good..." the floating blue ball of light said, "Link, do something." she said. A figure clad in green drew out his sword, looking at it and then to Zero. Ganon had taken an interest in what she was looking at as well, glowing eyes widening as he saw the man fated to stop him. The ring of fire stopped Link from entering, but that didn't stop his sword. He threw his blade through the fire, the righteous sword cutting a path and digging into the ground not far from Zero.

Zero pushed Ganon's sword away, diving off to the side and grabbing the sword. It felt strange, light almost. It was lighter than her own, and warm, almost soothing to hold. It made her feel safe, gave her a little more strength to get to her feet.

Ganon roared in anger, his will steeled as he started towards Zero and swung just as he had before. Zero hoisted the blade with both hands, preparing herself to clash blades with this monstrous beast. Sparks flew from their swords as they fought one another in a test of strength. As faint as it was, a small voice started singing, growing louder with each passing verse. Mikhail recognized it instantly, his eyes widening.

"That's... Uh oh..." he said quietly, Zelda looking towards the dragon curiously. "Zero is singing... This is bad. She must really be in trouble." he said.

Little by little Zero was pushing back Ganon's blade. He roared, slamming down his other sword and pushing downwards with both hands. The song grew louder, each word echoing in the valley as Zero's power blossomed. The flower glowed, its magic flowing through her body and igniting the Master Sword in a blinding light. Ganon flinched, rearing back and relinquishing the duel of strength. Zero pursued the beast, her battle hymn carrying farther and stronger as she sought to return the favor she had been given by the man not long ago.

A rising slash tore at the beast's stomach, Zero taking to the air and turning the blade to crash down onto Ganon with a plunging blow. The Master Sword dug deep into Ganon's hide, the monster roaring out in pain as Zero drew it out and leapt away. The fire around the area crackled and sputtered, dying down to embers while Zero turned to the four just outside of the battlefield.

"Well? What're you waiting for?" she called to them. Zelda's hands clutched at her chest, radiating with a growing light while Link drew out his bow. He knocked an arrow, the tip glowing with the same power Zelda was channelling. Link let the arrow fly, the power of the light tearing through Ganon and leaving the power drunk monstrosity stunned long enough for Zelda's ray of light to engulf him. Zelda stumbled a little a hand gripping at the pendant hanging from her neck as she called back.

"Now! Only a strike from the Master Sword can seal him away!" Zero sighed, meeting the weakened gaze of the creature that nearly killed her. With the tip of the sword dragging along the ground she walked towards him. Ganon fought to stand, to move, to do anything but await his demise but did little besides growl at her. Zero raised the sword towards the sky, her hands suddenly turning it as she swung it downwards and buried the blade straight between his eyes.

A savage cry punctuated the blow, Ganon fumbling about to try and pry the blade from his body before doubling over and falling to his wounds. On weak legs Zero walked towards Link and Zelda, once pure white garb stained red with a mixture of both her and Ganon's blood. Link's gaze rested on the still form of Ganon while Zelda looked at Zero with a soft expression.

"I must thank you, Zero. You are not what I expected to see this day, but your help was invaluable none the less. Whatever it is you desire I will be sure to grant you as soon as I am able."

Zero chuckled softly, shaking her head as she looked towards Mikhail. "I just really want that fucking soup."


End file.
